“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious” ~ Albert Einstein

Powerful, thought-provoking questions can  help a client to think outside the box, discover new territory,  jump-start creativity and evoke a response from the heart.  Keep the question short and to the point using less than 10 words.

If you are a new coach and feel stressed thinking about the “right question”, relax and focus on “being” with the client instead of “doing” (trying to perform).  Stay curious and if you can’t think of a question,  just remember two words….. “Tell me”… and  “Tell me more about that…”

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What does it mean when a coach talks about “coaching through the gap?”

Coaching is about moving a client forward, taking action and getting unstuck in a specific area of a  client’s life. In secular coaching,  it is about moving the client from where they are to “where they want to be”.  In Christian Life Coaching, it is about helping clients move from where they are to “where they feel God wants them to be.”

When working with clients, Christian Life Coaches help people to unveil their dreams, clarify their calling, identify their values, strengths, gifts, talents and opportunities God has given to them.  Christian Life Coaches help clients to take steps to reach the goals they feel God has put into their lives and strive to be all God wants them to become.

If one burden could be lifted from you in the next 30 days, what would that be?

IAC Coaching Mastery #3  is  Engaged Listening and in the ICF Core Competencies, Core Competency #5 is Active Listening so as you can see, the IAC and ICF core coaching skill in this area are in alignment. I will refer to this skill as Engaged Listening since CCI (Christian Coach Institute) is a licensed Coaching Mastery School of IAC.

When I think of an “engaged listener”,  I get a picture of an intimate kind of listening where two people are deeply connected at the heart level. In one of our coach training classes last week, I asked the coaches-in-training to give me a word that would describe “engaged”, and I heard the words committed, bonded, connected and interwoven …mmm great words to describe communication on a deeper than normal level.   Aren’t these great words to describe an  engaged listener?  Don’t you yearn to be listened to by someone who is “engaged”?

Over the years, as I have studied and researched to sharpen my own skills and to learn more so I can share more with our coaches-in-training,  I have  really grown to appreciate listening as more of an art.  I learned that in Chinese, “to listen”  is expressed using the characters that include not only the ears but also eyes, undivided attention and the heart. As we listen to a client and use our eyes, ears, and heart, we have the potential to understand the feeling, meaning and content of the messages we receive from that client. Doesn’t that sound more like an art than simply a skill to be acquired?

Kimberly Dinsdale, a Master Coach and Coach Trainer for Christian Coach Institute, describes 3 ways of listening in her article, “Listening in the Third Way“.   Her 3 ways of listening  are 1)Agree with listening  2)Disagree with listening, and 3) “Be With Listening”.  Kimberly explains “Be With Listening” means exactly what it sounds like. Be. Here. Now. In the Moment. Be here physically, emotionally,mentally. Truly be with the person you are listening to. How would  you like to be listened to in such an intimate way that you feel the person “really gets you”?

IAC  Coaching Mastery #3 is Engaged Listening and is defined as “gives full attention to the words, nuances, and the unspoken meaning of the client’s communication; the coach is more deeply aware of the client, his/her concerns and the source of the issue, by listening beyond what the client is able to articulate. And as a coach, when we are an engaged listener, the effect on our clients is : 1)The client feels understood and validated – not judged and 2) The client communicates more effortlessly and resourcefully.

On a scale of 1 – 7, how would you rate your listening skills as an Engaged,  Active “Be With Listener”? What one action can you take to improve your listening today?

‘I know that you think you understand what you heard me say, but I’m not sure you realize that what I said was not what I meant.” –  unknown

SMART Goals Help Build a Successful Coaching Practice

Are you a coach working to build your coaching practice? Smart coaches recognize the need to spend time in goal setting. And, as Christian coaches, we want to be prayerful and seek God’s guidance to make sure we are following His plan, and not giving God our goals and asking Him to bless them. Goals are not carved in stone, they are open for review and revision.  God typically doesn’t show us the entire plan at first, and His plan unfolds daily.

“So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.” 2 Corinthian 5:9

SMART Goals in Coaching – How to Set Them

SPECIFIC: As you are prayerful and seeking guidance in this area, here are a few questions to consider.  After you have identified your coaching niche, then specifically, how many clients will you be working with on a monthly basis? How many hours a week will you spend in coaching?  How much will you be earning each month from coaching clients? How many hours each week will you spend on admin, marketing, accounting, etc? Coaching is also a ministry for Christian Coaches as we seek to live the Greatest Commandment to love God and love others, so include the time for ministry, community and volunteer activities.

MEASURABLE: How can you track and measure your progress? What are some indicators that identify when you have reached the goal? Ex: Many coaches share the goal, “I want to grow my business/ministry.” How much, how many, and how will you know when you have grown your business?  When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the feelings of success that creates more momentum to take more action. And then, don’t be surprised when God expands the goal when the business is for His Glory, and not yours.

ACHIEVABLE: Sometimes the goal God has for us is much bigger than we imagine. So, by man’s standards, it may not look achievable but our God is a BIG, BIG God, and if He has given you a BIG vision then He will bring people and resources into your life to support the vision and help you.  If you are a new coach and establishing your coaching business/ministry,  start where you are and build.   If you have 2 paying clients today, it is realistic to set a goal to have 10, and adjust the number as you move forward. To go from 2 clients to 10 clients in 3 months for most new coaches is achievable.

REALISTIC: Are you willing and are you able are a couple of questions to consider around this SMART goal setting process. Yet, we know GOD is able when we are not; I feel that our willingness to be obedient to God is the most important posture of our heart. Think about when have you might have accomplished a similar goal in the past and reflect on that time. Although “realistic” is important, it is also a good idea to stretch the goal and step outside your comfort zone to add a little “risk” along with “realistic”!

TIMED: A part of the goal setting strategy is that a goal should be grounded within a time frame because it creates a sense of urgency. If you want to lose 5 pounds, when do you want to lose it by? If we hear the response “Oh, I don’t know” then most likely we know the possibility of losing those 5 pounds anytime soon is unlikely.  “Someday” won’t work. However, if the person gives an answer within a time frame, “by April 1st”, we sense a plan unfolding to achieve the goal. Keep in mind that God usually doesn’t give us a time frame, He gives us a vision, and patience in understanding that His timing is different from our and His ways are different from our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-9)

SMART Goals Help Coaches Walk the Talk

As coaches, we work with clients to help them achieve their goals, and we also want to “walk the talk” and set SMART goals for ourselves and our coaching business/ministry. Most importantly, as Christian Coaches, we want to stay in prayer seeking God’s guidance as we step forward boldly to work toward achieving goals that glorify God.

What SMART goals do you have for 2011? Who do you have to support you and hold you accountable?